I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You're like the curious george of whores
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
