Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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