tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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