Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
