I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
