Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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