He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
