Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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