Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
