Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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