if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
