I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
