She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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