theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
