Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize