This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
