You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
