My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
