Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
