I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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