whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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