IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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