i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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