Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Too much gin, very little bucket
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
