i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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