I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
