i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
