i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
