so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
