can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize