yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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