Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
