Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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