is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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