We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
