i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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