i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
