My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
