Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
