so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
