Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
