you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
