Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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