I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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