She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Semen is not good for contacts.
There's always time for handjobs
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
