She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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