I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
