I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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