just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
