It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
