She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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