right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i think im in europe. pls send help
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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