i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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