You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
