Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
