awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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