Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
