yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You pole danced in your parka.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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