that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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