Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
