When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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